This dog is crazy.

He keeps humping the trash can. But my owner got him in a yoga class, so hopefully that'll work.

OCD

My owner moved the water dish again! My owner moved the water dish again! Oh crap! It's supposed to be on the right side!

Okay, that pill they gave me is working. Okay, much better. Now I won't have to tear up their bills.

My owners like Michael Phelps, if you know what I mean

I'm just sayin' ... I smelled something funny coming from the room, and they were playing that Chaka Khan CD, and I yakked on the rug. And then they laughed and ate cheetos. Freaks.